2 years ago, I finished my last semester as an astrophysics Masters student at San Francisco State University. That was the first time, since I was eight years old, that I truly reevaluated “what do I want to be when I grow up?”
I’d been chasing the same dream for so long, on autopilot, that I had forgotten what it was like to feel joy, or passion, or even ambition. I remember have felt excited about science, physics, astronomy, the whole nine yards. But that was before the whirlwind of the higher education system.
As I ended my third semester in grad school, I was facing serious decisions: thesis topic, mentor, PhD or industry. Nothing spoke to me.
I had decided at eight years old that I wanted a PhD, the first step towards a Nobel prize in astrophysics. 16 years later, for the first time in my life, I thought maybe that’s not what I wanted anymore? I reflected on what had brought me true joy over the years. And while I had enjoyed my lectures, research, and the constant anxiety with my friends, I realized academia wasn’t for me. And upon further examination, going into industry meant selling my soul to a weapons manufacturer and DOD contracts.
At a time where I was witnessing a genocide live on my social media feed, I couldn’t justify saying yes to a big paycheck simply because I’d spent so long in school for something.
So I quit.
Maybe that sounds dramatic, but it was a very intentional, thought-through decision. Letting go of a dream I’d had since I was a wee-lass. I decided to pursue the marketing agency I had started during Covid full time. I spent months applying to marketing jobs and Masters programs while working on my existing clients for my agency.
For the first time in my life, I was self-employed. It was on me to wake up in the morning and make a to-do list that no one but myself would hold me to. And with adrenaline, passion, and all the caffeine San Francisco had to offer, I found myself with an acceptance letter from USC Annenberg, and an offer letter from CAIR-CA.
It’s been two years, and I wake up every day excited about my work. I got my Masters in Digital Media Management while “proactively dismantling systematic hate” at CPHB and still managing my agency.
If you had told me 10 years ago I that I would be making a pivot this big, I would’ve laughed. Now, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. I’m still technically, by training, an astrophysicist. But I’m also a lot of other things. As one of my bosses puts it, “we get to do MSA work full time”, and that’s kind of wonderful.
